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Do or Die Attempt
Let me give you an instance of "do-or-die". This slogan was very popular among the people during India's last freedom struggle of 1942-43. There is a place called Balaram near Palanpur. It is full of beautiful natural scenery. Once I stayed there for a while in pursuit of my sadhana of course. A brahman friend worshipped god Shiva -- the diety -- there. As was my wont, I never spoke a word; but one evening, when it was getting dark, he himself came to me and narrated the story of his life. I came to know that he was worshipping Lord Shiva for the single purpose of getting money. He had resolved either to receive the Lord's favour in that way or to offer kamalpuja to the Lord's emblem. I did not know what kamalpuja meant and asked him to explain the word.
"If Lord Shiva," he said, "does not grant me the amount I want, with one stroke of sword, I will cut off my head and offer him. Kamalpuja is worship (puja) of the Lord by offering one's 'lotus' (man's head) to him."
I was sutnned at the unrelenting resolve of that Brahman friend. "What tremendous will power this Brahman has!" I felt," A resolution to hold on like grim death must spring up in my heart, too, to create an inextinguishable fire in my sadhana." It was to brand this lesson on my heart that God, in his great mercy, made me come across the man and know how very serious he was in his prayer to Lord Shiva. This reflection had given me a decided impetus in my sadhana.
After a few years we, myself, Somabhai (Pujya Shree Mota's youngest brogher) and others, left for Karachi to attend the yearly session of the Indian National Congress in 1931. On the way, very early in the morning we stopped at the nearest railway station to Balaram. There a gruesome sight shocked us. We saw a man's head cut off and reeling in pain in the last moments of life. I was immediately reminded of the Brahman I had met earlier. What he had told me he would do, if Lord Shiva did not grant his wish, he had carried out in letter and sprit! What an unshakable resolution that was!
We immediately whisked out of the place as, after our next halt at Abu, we wanted to reach Karachi in time for the Congress session. For if we remained, a policeman would certainly detain us for interrogation and perhaps even custody if he saw us near a head chopped off and bleeding.
This incident has been described in order to show that without putting our lives at stake we shall never be able to do anything worthwhile in sadhana. Now I do not find any sign of that resolve in any of my dear ones. Let me assert, however, that such deadly earnestness is an inevitable must in sadhana.
Make My Life Resplendent
As I have written, there will not be any liveliness in our sadhana without the creating of such a warrior spirit in us. Our efforts, alas, are nothing in comparison. The consciousness of our reason for approaching the Sat-guru and accepting him as our guide, seems to have evaporated into thin air. That is at least my feeling all along. it would be so fine if only you shake off your stupor! It is with your lives that I want to shine in splendor. Not that I do not shine even now, but your impressive behavior will make my life's grow all the more lustrous.h
There is one art of living in seclusion, unknown (avyakta = unmanifested) to the world and there is the other art of living in the full view (vyakta) of the world. There is a traditional practice in our line (of Sat-gurus) also. Just as, by God's grace, my Sat-guru awakened my (divine) consciousness that had laid dormant, so would I experience the full bloom of my life and the consequent complete satisfaction of having played a worthy part if, by my Sat-guru's blessing, Eternal Life's consciousness would blossom in any of you, I, too, wish to revel in that highest joy of human life, if possible. But that is in the hands of you people. Please therefore, be good enough to grant me my wish and let me attain ethereal bliss.